"HOLE"

I had thought of my grief or feeling of loss as a 'hole' in my heart. But there can be no hole when my love for my sons hasn't disappeared. My heart still holds all the love it ever did...its just that the love is not reciprocated.
I think that's one of the things I miss the most.
I'm very lucky that I have a beautiful daughter who gives as much love as she receives! I'm very lucky that I have a husband who cares as much about me as I care about him. But, my luck runs out when I can't receive as much love from my boys as I feel for them!
That's where the 'hole' is!
There's also a hole which is kind of like a fill-the-gap sentence activity which children are given at school. But instead of being able to put the correct answer in the 'hole' these spaces have to remain empty.
For example, I will never know what my first born sons would look like as adults. I will never know the joy of getting to know a daughter-in-law. I will never be the mother of the groom. I will never know the children of my sons.
These are the 'holes' that are in my life...but there are no 'holes' in my heart!! There never will be!!