NOVEMBER 11th

Today marks exactly thirteen years since John's dad passed away. Yesterday would have been his 96th birthday. It doesn't seem that long since we have had him in our lives but I know that even thinking that is a good thing, as it means that our memories of him are still alive and vivid.
For the last three years of his life he was bedridden but his dementia prevented him from realising that. A blessing in disguise. It was not a life of quality but he was completely unaware of the straits he was in. He enjoyed having visitors but often wouldn't know who his visitors were. He would ramble on about the volkswagen he had parked in the driveway or the girls he would meet down at the railway yard. At one stage he even thought that I was one of those girls! These were all memories from his youth back in Holland. he didn't know Sian and Jake as they were his youngest grandchildren and, therefore, they were a part of his short-term memory which had all but disappeared.
In cases like this I think dementia is a godsend!! Having dementia prevented him from despairing over a life lived on a mattress. The downside is more for those witnessing this decline. His family and friends could see the deterioration in their loved one. They were his own sons, daughter-in-laws and grandchildren who often went unrecognised. And therein lies the sadness of dementia..it is not for the bearer, it is for those who witness and care for that state in one who was previously vibrant, alert and a part of their actuality.

Today also marks exactly 18 months since our beautiful son took his own life. He too is always in our hearts and on our minds and it still seems so unreal that he is not here with us!
Let us hope that the place these loved ones now reside in allows them to be healthy in mind and body. Let's hope that they are all together and that Jake is now testing his quick-wit on an Opa and a great Grandpa who were both full of fun and trickery, on an Oma who will just adore him because he is her grandson, on a Grandnan who cuddled him and loved him and with his brothers who can help him fill the heavens with cheeky grins and laughter and love!
We miss you all ! xxx